This blog has been inspired by a comment from a reader of my blogs – thank you!
So okay I need to learn how to set some boundaries in my life so people won’t step all over me.
I am a pleaser. I dislike offending people or hurting their feelings. So in my old self (before today, that is, as I’m motivated to change) I would rather hurt myself, whether that be losing money unnecessarily or giving my time unwillingly. How can I stop?
I appreciate that I need to tell people where my boundaries are. It’s one thing knowing I have to set boundaries, but it’s another thing learning the skills to do so.
If you have read my previous blog on “is it him or is it me?”, what would you do in my situation? What do I say to your friend – “if you stay with us, please spend some time with us?” and….how do I say “and don’t eat all our food in the pantry”? Well I really don’t mind him eating the food but was disappointed that he didn’t show some appreciation for our hospitality. But again, I can’t control him but I can control my own behavior – a great advice from my blog’s reader.
Perhaps some obvious things like being polite can’t be taught. Perhaps it’s only natural to expect courteous guests?
What about in the workplace? If someone, say a supervisor, takes advantage of my kind nature and often willingness to help, by giving me work that no one wants to do which is also not part of my role? Do I say “no” and risk jeopardizing my job or say “yes” and risk being stepped all over? Seems like a catch 22 situation.
If only all things have simple solutions.